Yes, this topic is getting its very own post.
On Friday I moved from the woods of central New Hampshire down to that little part that touches the ocean. As such, yesterday I drove up the coast into Maine to get some lobster roll. The only real criteria I had was that I wanted a legit place on the water, and it only had to be the best roll in the entire Northeast. That’s all. After some Googling, I picked a place called Fox’s Lobster House that is pretty close to the Maine / New Hampsire border and headed out.
I ended up along Route 1A through York, ME, which runs right along the coast with shops and restaurants (in normal times), along with some nice views of the ocean.
Past that, you turn into a residential neighborhood with super tight roads and an endless number of people walking / biking on the shoulder. Much fun in a giant F-250 pickup truck. After some white knuckle curves and hail marys for those pedestrians around me, I turned onto the road for the restaurant AND… complete chaos.
If I could pick my worst nightmare during this pandemic, this scene would cover it. First off, it was a free-for-all on what few parking spots they had. To be honest, that’s a worst nightmare global pandemic or no global pandemic. That’s a “fuck this, we’ll walk” situation for sure. Just ask Jenny. However, there was also a crowd of people all on top of each other, clamoring for their seafood. Just all sorts of breathing and existing near each other. I’m sure I hope it was less a clusterf**k than it looked from down the block, but I wouldn’t make that bet.
So as the risk-reward ratio on the situation immediately evaporated, I pulled a u-turn before the point of no return, recalculated, and decided to drive another hour north. I ended up just south of Portland, ME at a place called The Lobster Shack at Two Lights on Cape Elizabeth…
…where there were FAR fewer people, way more parking spots, and the end goal.
A lobster roll with giant ass chunks of lobster (and ONLY LOBSTER… more on that later), mayo, amazingly toasted bread, whatever that red s**t is… it was absolutely awesome. F**king delicious. And I was still like… “meh, could have been better.” I had built up this “I’m going to get REAL lobster roll from a REAL Maine place on the REAL Atlantic Ocean and it’s going to be MINDBLOWING” thing so much I was ultimately left a little hollow.
Until this evening…
This morning was one of those mornings where despite any plans you had for the day the night before, you open your eyes and just go, “yeah, f**k that.” So I stuck around the camper, cleaned a little, and sat outside in the sunshine. When dinnertime rolled around, I decided to get another lobster roll from the closest place I could find. It’s only a few minutes down the road, and I was even able to grab some beer on the way.
Picked it up, came back, opened the container and…
Wait… what? That doesn’t look the same at all.
Take a bite… THERE’S IMITATION CRAB IN THERE. You know that gross fake stringy thing it does? Every bite there’s a bunch of it hanging out of my mouth. Tiny little chunks of lobster and IMITATION CRAB, the grossest s**t on the planet. You can even kinda see it the picture for f**k’s sake. They say it’s 1/3 pound of lobster… I’d say about 1/5 that mixed with IMITATION CRAB.
I eventually realized there was an awesome lesson to take away from this. A lot of psychologists argue that having too many choices ultimately makes us unhappy. It’s called “The Paradox of Choice” and my interpretation is that the more choices you have, not only will you agonize that much more over which to select, but you’ll have that much more to regret you made the wrong choice and are missing out on something better.
You set out to get the best lobster roll when there are 1,504 different places you can get one. No matter where you go, you’ll think “oh, damn the other place would have been better.” And that’s what I just did. It didn’t matter how good that lobster roll was, I was always going to think I made the wrong decision. I forgot that I’m in this amazing situation and the fact I could get in the car and even attempt this is already a blessing.
I have as much freedom and choices as I can ever recall. And that’s saying quite a lot, I’ve had a decently charmed life. I’m traveling the country in an RV with the love of my life and best friend, I can go almost anywhere I choose (during a f**king pandemic no less) and I’m down on myself because my lobster roll wasn’t as good as I thought it should be? AM I F**KING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??!?
I’ve gone through the same process when campsites I was super excited about staying at canceled on us due to the virus. I’d get all pissed off and aggravated having to find a different site that “definitely isn’t going to be as good.” Eventually I just have to laugh at my complete ridiculousness.
I’ll do my best to keep things in perspective from now on. Appreciate things for what they are and find the good in all the moments we meet in this adventure.
Except IMITATION CRAB… f**k that s**t.
TL;DR: I got scammed out of $20 for a shitty “lobster roll” and I appreciate everything I have in my life that much more now.
